Thursday, March 29, 2012

Moving forward or just sideways, but at least it's movement.

Sometimes you just have to wonder what its all about anyway. Honestly, there really is no point to SL but we muddle through and incorporate it into our daily lives anyway. Some of us depend on it, some of us take it as an escape, some of us could take it or leave it. Either way it's here in our lives and our interactions with others affect their lives in some way. 

In my 4.5yrs in  and out of SL I still can't claim to be an expert at it by any stretch.  Heck, just like RL its ever changing. Friends come and go, jobs, interests even love. Sometimes there are those you can't seem to shake because their affect on you or your SLife was so profound you think of them in everything you do.  I have a few of those ghosts in my SLife as well. Royce being one of them, as many of my closest friends know already.  They have seen how no matter what happens in my Slife he's always a part of it. Directly or indirectly I've made sure to include him in all my decisions and without thinking.  I still haven't sorted out how the hell he managed to get inside my head like he has let alone how to get him out. I'm not even all that sure I want to at this point.  He's always been a part of my Slife from the moment I started Jussy's avi. No matter where I go, who I'm with, what I'm doing, Royce and his alts seem to find their way back to me.   One would also think that with his habit of disappearing as often as he does that I either wouldn't involve myself with him and simply enjoy the fact he is one of my friends - or - I'd at least be used to the fact he does disappear and stop panicking when he does. He always returns and always to me.  
I don't know how our connection started or why, really. I know we have been good friends and have been there for each other when things got rough.
But - I can't help but wonder: "What now?"  I let myself get wrapped up in him. Turned my focus from all things SL to him when I was at my lowest...and now, I can't seem to let go enough to let things get comfortable again.  I know I need to let loosen that grip and just let myself refocus back to everything else in SL, but it's really hard. I've found myself waking up in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep because some random thought of him won't leave me alone. I find some nights I can't sleep at all. Days go by and all I want is that friend I used to know who I could talk to without holding back. I miss that version of us. 

As far as other parts of my SLife, things are seeming to go a bit sideways there too.  I don't speak to my sister anymore, or should I say "we" don't speak anymore.  I stopped trying and she quit giving a crap. So, we go about our daily SLives ignoring each other.  Sad really. I miss my sister something awful but she's too wrapped up in her fake family, her club (yeah a so-so venue for live music) and whatever other "new" friends she has. She's too busy for the one person who brought her into SL - but I'm not bitter. Pft

I also have to laugh at how funny SLife can be. They say: "What goes around, comes around." And in many instances that's so true.  None truer than the karma that's biting Stephanie Steamweaver in the ass lately. DT it seems is losing a lot of good people. Steph lost her vision and is so desperate for $L's she trolls other venues, group chats and clubs in a desperate attempt to lure money into her place. The only problem is, no one has any!  Not really. Not those of us who regularly are in SL.  Those who do aren't in SL all that much anymore because they're so turned off by all the in-fighting and drama created by the regular residents. Either way, DT is barely hanging on. 
On a slightly sideways note, there's talk of other Voice SIM venues thinking of making a go of it. Granted, not primarily sex related, which honestly is a good thing, but voice Sim's none the less. These seem to sound like they're going to be more friendly and personal, more "good time for all" oriented. I say: "Rock on"

Lastly: The fate of Hoodie Ninja Photography. 
As many of you know I've had a rough go lately trying to keep it afloat. Lack of paying clients and Royce who's disappearing act also meant tiers fell onto me...means it's hit or miss if I have a place from one week to the next.  At the moment I'm subsisting on the kindness of a friend who I don't expect to continue to keep being as generous as he is. I'm not a whore so he's getting nothing in return for his investment other than my friendship. Plus he's sorta-kinda-maybe dating my neighbor.  (lol) Long story there and I won't explain since even Royce is confused. 

For now, that's it. I'll continue to post pics on Flickr, Koinup, FB and my site. 

If anyone needs or would like a professional pic done, or a series...hit me up sometime. I'm usually available. 

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